#55: Practical Intentionality and Alignment without Hustle w/ LaShawn Wiltz

In this episode LaShawn Wiltz of the Banned Book Club and the Pouring Over Books Box shares her methodologies for operating as a high achiever, without the hustle. She's an entrepreneur and a mom, and she's intentional about how she lives her life. Her tips will certainly change your life if you let them. Enjoy!
Instagram.com/lashawnwiltz
EverydayEyecandy.com
Pouring Over Books Box
The Banned Book Club

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Dani Faust is a hypnotherapist and certified Life Coach, Intuitive Energy Healer and Spiritual Teacher currently based in South Florida and holds certifications in EFT, Meditation, Reiki, NLP and more.

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Transcript

And we're here. Hi everybody. We are here with LaShaun Wils and she's going to help gather your life without the hustle. You're gonna love her. Hi. Thanks for being here. Hi Danny. Thanks for having me.

I'm so excited to share you, , your amazing platform, your amazing new products with this audience because I feel like you embody and exemplifies so much of what is required to be an amazing manifestor. And I know that you're gonna be able to teach some of your principles that seem to come so naturally to you with our audience and keep adding me.

Yeah. Yeah. So, Okay. Whenever I think of you, I think of coffee books waking up at the Buck Cracker Dawn, or maybe even before the Buck Cracker Dawn . Beautiful photos on Instagram and intentionality. Okay. Do those things feel like you, that feels like you feel like me? Yes. Yeah. Yes, it is. You know, taking a while, but I guess that is.

finally, all of me on out there in the public, in the, in the world. Because you know, when you're, I think that comes with being older. When you, when you're younger and you're on Instagram, I think you try to conform to what you think everybody wants to see. And I still see a lot of that now, but there's so much freedom in just being who you are and sharing and have people be like, yes.

Was there, , something that happened that made you flip a switch or was it just like, I'm just gonna always do mean they're just gonna like it or not? Or was it something that kind of helped you shift into that? , I always say when I hit 40, It really is a switch that happens when you hit 40, when you're suddenly like, you know, it is what it is.

You really start to think like that and you really start to prioritize what you want. What makes you happy?   And you stop really caring what everybody el you. You care about what everybody thinks, but you stop caring to the detriment of your own self. You know? Cause I think for years it was always, oh, but they're not gonna like it now.

I'm like, listen, , this is how it is. This is how it's going to be. Either you get with the program , or you move on . And that is true in. Per personal life, public life, everything. I've gotten to that point finally. So that's beautiful because as women, not let alone black women we're trained, we're socialized to like give yes to please to and to please.

And I spent a lot of my 20, I've spent a lot of my teens and twenties and even up to mid thirties pleasing. . , I was always the people pleaser. , I was always the one who got the good grades. I was the good girl, you know, , so, you know, the, the, the smart one, the one who was supposed to do something. So I was always pleasing everybody, making sure I was living up to, you know, my purpose or I guess you could say, and.

I don't know. It, it started when I became a mom when I was like, listen, I'm not gonna do motherhood like y'all do it so , she, you need to get with the program and move on. You know, it started there and then it's, it, it morphed into like several jobs that I was like, okay, this is not going to work because of my child.

And finally, you know, it led to where I am now where I'm. It is what it is.  this, this is me. So, yeah. That's beautiful. And it feels like a lot of times it takes that one thing to kind of start the trend. So having the sun Yes. Started the trend and then you're like, oh, I'm all in with this. What? You hit 40?

Yes. Like I like this freedom. Yes. It's like, woo girl. This is great.

So here's the most important question I have to ask you today. It's a big one. Why the hell are you waking up at four o'clock? Girl, it's so early . That is part of me prioritizing myself.  People think I just, no, and the main reason why I wake up that early is because it's the only time of day when no one is asking anything of.

I'm not being interrupted. I'm not being asked to cook something. I'm not being felt on by a person in this house, , you know, that include my son. He's, he's a touchy, feely person, so he's not touching me. He's not talking. My husband, he too, is a touchy feely person. Neither one of them are asking me for anything.

No email. . I haven't looked at my email. I haven't looked at social media. I am awake and it is just me. And so I found that when I woke up earlier, that's when I could.  do anything I wanted to do. I can work out, I can read. That's when I read, that's when I drink water . It's just simple thing. Meditate is sometimes I might just lay on this couch, but it is, it's my time before the day starts.

It helps me to be able to keep going for the rest of the day when we're all the hats that I'm supposed to wear without being resentful. So, I love that self-care. It really is self-care. It really is. Yeah. That's self-care. And that's legit a morning routine. And it sounds like there's time for silence.

There's time for the physical self-care or just mm-hmm.  laying my ass down if that's what I wanna do. I love that you have the, like, it's a routine but not routine, right? It's not set in stone. So like I try to read a non-fiction book in the morning simply because, . I don't like non-fiction , but sometimes I, there's certain topics that I wanna read about and they're non-fiction, so I, I read them in the morning because that's the time where my brain can concentrate the most.

, and it's, I learn better and sometimes I wake up and I don't feel like reading a non-fiction book. I will not read a non-fiction book. It's my time , so I might just wanna sit here and scroll Instagram one morning. Who knows? But it is my time to do it, whatever it is. I love that. That's an important part.

And guilt free, because this is your self-care time and self care, self love. Exactly guilt-free. And now that my son is older, he's almost, he, if he sees my office door closed, he does not come in. He knocks. And if he doesn't get an answer, he walks away. . It is beautiful. They all know in this house now if the door is closed, don't come in here.

So I love that. Yes, it's my kids are like, mama, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, mama. They'll get there. They'll get there, they'll get there.  when? When? No. This child is, he's almost 12, so it has taken this long. It's happened in the last year. , but that's because he likes to go in his room and close his door, so, you know, there we go.

That's beautiful. So he gets his him time as well. He, and, and that's the beautiful thing. He, I watch him and he has taken his cues from me, like every night without fail between. Right after dinner and around eight o'clock he takes a bath. And one day I was like, why do you take a bath every day? He was like, that's my time.

That's my me time, mama. Oh, he, he takes his little phone in there. He listens to music. Sometimes he watches a show. It's an hour and he uses all the hot water . It's his time. And I'm like, oh, he's watching. So, yes. Love that. It's a good thing. Yeah. , have you noticed, have you noticed, , an increase in either productivity or in reaching your goals or anything like that from implementing this morning?

U time? Yes. B, let me see. When did I started, I started it when I was still working full-time because it was the only time I had to myself. So I used to wake up early and.  and then go to work , you know? And then I started waking up earlier because I was like, wait a minute, I need some time for me first, and then I can work, and then I can go to real work.

So it was  real work.  real work. That's how I used to look at it, real work, um, , because you know, when you, when you have a hobby that you love and that you're making money off of, it's not real work, a quote unquote. Mm-hmm. . Um, but yeah, so it started.  and because even then I knew I needed, I, I've always been the type of person who needs quiet time and I wasn't getting it, and I was so frustrated, and I was so stressed, and I noticed it almost immediately that as soon as I spent that time alone by myself.

First thing in the morning, I was a much more pleasant person. I got so much more done because I was focused. I knew I had this amount of time after I had my me time, and everything just flowed from there. . I like that. Is there anything that you haven't mentioned that you have in your mornings? Any type of like, journaling or any type of practices that the manifestors who are listening can steal from your routine?

I do. Do I start every day? , right. I always write down three things I'm grateful for. Always. And then like, and while I'm sitting here. Like, like right now, I'm sitting in, right above me is my, my vision board. It's right here in front of my computer. And I have one mantra there that I say every day, and it says, I am manifesting the life I desire.

I say that every morning . Every morning . I love it. Every morning. And it's like a, it's a flowing thing because you, you. , you know your brain. Your brain is so powerful, and if you tell it, and if you tell the universe it will. Occur. I'm a firm believer of that. So positive thinking, it made people like toxic.

I'm like, no, no. This . It makes me happy. It works for me. , listen, I'm glad she said it so I don't have to beat you all over the head with it again. She said it, so now you can believe it. Okay. These words that we say are so powerful and we can literally reprogram our brain with them. So yes, take her mantra, make one of your own.

It doesn't matter, but just please do what you gotta do to get yourself into that positive space so you can bring on what you want. Yes, into your life, potentially, intentionally create that life that you want, that that's what you have to do. And it starts in your mind. It always starts in your. I'm glad you said the word intentional because that is a word that I think of you with when I think of intentionality because y'all, if you aren't following her on Instagram, you need to, by the way, cuz she does these beautiful images, her stories, I watch 'em every day and it calms me down.

I'm not even joking. I don't know if they, I didn't even tell you this, Shaun, but it calms me down cause I'm like, rah, rah, go, go, go. And then I see her pouring her water. Swearing, her coffee, sharing a mantra and I'm like, oh shit. I need to slow down. , thanks. Yes, you do. Slow down and re and it gives me a nice little reminder of, oh, be intentional right now.

Yes. So thank you for that. But you guys all need to follow her. Are you at LaShon Woods or at every mm-hmm. . It's, no, it's at LaShon. Wheels everywhere. At LaShon Wills. If you guys are driving, don't write it down yet. Okay. Just wait, . And it'll be notes as we'll later, but we'll get to that later. But yes. So the intentionality, have you, what did you notice about when you stopped going, rah, rah, rah, and then got really intentional?

Mm-hmm. , , It's almost like you're making the choice to slow down and notice the little things because , that's one of the reasons why I name my blog every day, eye candy, because sometimes we are so busy. Go, go. Going.  that we missed the little moments. And it's always when you look back, like if you look back on your childhood, you look back on those cabby things, it's always the little things that you remember.

, like I always remember my mother's perfume. I remember my grandmother's. Cigarette right by the coffee. You know, I, I remember my father humming. It's just like little moments that if you don't pay attention to them, you'll miss them. And then you look back and be like, oh, that was the good time. Instead of.

Realizing that you are in the good time now. Always, always say there's nothing wrong with looking forward to things and looking saying one day when I do this, but don't forget to enjoy where you are now because there are always good things going on. Right now. And I think especially now, some of us are so busy hustling and, and go, go going and trying to, you know, get there that we don't stop.

You cannot enjoy what you're going to have if you don't stop and enjoy what you have right now. So. Love. That's my intentionality. Love hustle. Yes. What would you, what would tip if there was one tip to give to the woman who is just like, listen, I got four kids. I got a full-time job trying to side hustle.

I gotta make these T-shirts. I can't stop hustling. What do you mean be intentional? I got shit to do. What do you say to that woman? I always like someone always. I remember when I was that person and someone told, . That's cuz I was like, well I do self-care, da da da duh. But I don't have time to do it, to, you know, go out and do this and, and, and get this massage.

And she was like, self-care is a practice. It's not a  purchase. And I was like, and then I saw that quote again today and it, that's what it reminded me of. And I was like, at the time I was like, so what are you saying? Self-care is not massages. And it's like, it doesn't always have to be. Doing something.

Self-care can be something as simple as your husband holds your baby while you finish your coffee. Warm men can help out. They are the other parents. . Say that again. Louder. Y'all need to hear this one again. We cannot be superwoman like keep. People always are amazed when I say that I do not cook on Saturday.

I make pancakes Saturday morning.  and then lately I don't even cook Sunday. It is not my job anymore. I don't clean on Saturday. I know people, especially in the black community, our mama almost woke us up on Saturday. No, I got this from my mother. Triggered my mother. My mother never cleaned on Saturday. My mother slept late on Saturday and when I look back on it, I'm always like, then why was I trying to be superwoman on Saturday when she never was?

You know what I mean? That's cuz she knew it was time to rest. She wasn't doing nothing and so I took that cue. I don't cook. My father always bought dinner on Saturday. Always. So I don't cook on Saturday. I don't clean on Saturday. I can lay in my bed all day in my pajamas and read a book, and nobody will blink an eye because I, that is my boundary, that is my self-care.

And I always tell women, , if you have a partner, , then this is something you can do. Even if you have a small child alone and you're a single mom, you can train that child to sit there for 30 minutes with an iPad. It will not hurt them. , take the time for yourself because your mental health is better to have a mentally fit mom, a mentally well mom who has taken some time for he.

Than to have one who's so stressed that she can't parent you. Just like they always stay on the airplanes. Put your own oxygen mask on first. Put it on before you can help somebody else. That's my main advice. You know, help yourself before you can help your children. Otherwise, you're just gonna be mad all the time.

welcome representative from slamming Doors. Yes? Yes. And don't nobody know why, because you ain't open your mouth. You just resentful. Nah. Mm-hmm. Ain't nobody got time for that. . Not no. I love it and yeah. Oh my gosh. You said a lot of good stuff there. And it's funny because, you know, we hear it a lot, women, moms, we hear, you know, you can't pour from an empty cup and put on your, your, , mask first.

You first you hear it so much that we forget the true power in those words, like, Yes. Who are you serving if you are a shell of a woman? Yes. Are you serving yourself that way? You can't have good relationships. You can't have friendships. You can't let alone a relationship with, you know, a significant other, let alone a parenting relationship.

You can't, nothing can be right if you're not taking care of yourself. Because remember, I always say you teach people how to treat you by how you treat yourself. You know, they go treat, they ain't gonna let you get your self care, your rest because you a superwoman, but Okay. . Yeah. And that's a testament to boundaries and Yes.

Making them, setting them and then enforcing them. Yes. Don't give in like I, no, I'm not cooking on, no, I'm not cooking on Saturday. You better take 'em to Chick-fil-A. No. Oh, . Oh, I cook, cook them pancakes. That's it. That's all I do. I'm sorry. And now I'm done. You know, little man's big enough. Let him cook the pancakes for you.

He's, he's learning. , I have a very old stove, so I, I have to, that's like one of my goals of the summer is to get a new stove, because once I do, I'm off the clock  clock. Cause he knows how to cook. I taught him last summer. He knows how to cook. So I just got, I just need a better stove so I don't have to be around when he turns it on.

That's all. That's all. Perfect. She's almost free, you guys. She's almost fully friends. Almost almost. He's loading the dishwasher. I'm almost free. Wow. Well done. I'm jealous. Well done.

I love your perspective on self-care and I love that it's kind of loose. It's not so rigid. Like you must get five hours of this each week. No. Mm-hmm. Sometimes you gotta a game when you fit in. . Figure it out. Yeah. My get in was at is at 4:00 AM . You know, yours might be at 9:00 PM It is. Get in when you fit.

So that's it. And I love that at 4:00 AM you start with gratitude because we talk a lot about how gratitude is one of the, it's just like kind of the base of all manifestation. Yes. I love that you start your day with that beautiful Yes. Emotion. Because if you, you just gotta be grateful. Even if some days I might write down, you know, I'm grateful that, you know, she did my eyebrows right.

That might be all I have. You know, , right? You wanna be looking crazy, right? I might be saying, well, I'm grateful the lights are on. I don't know, , you know, just basic stuff. Some days, you know, you gotta really look for something to be grateful for. Yeah. But you know,  do it. And once you start, it might be that you are searching for things to be grateful for, but then it becomes a habit, just like waking up early might have been hard the first couple days, like, why am I doing, yes, it was myself.

Yes, but then it becomes a habit and just is, becomes who you are. Mm-hmm. . And now it's just, you probably are doing so many little things that you don't even recognize how amazing they are because it's just like, that's just who I am. Like what? You know, I feel like that's part of it. You're a high achieving person and you tend, high achievers tend to kind of be amazing and not recognize it.

They're like, oh yeah, I just solved world hunger. I, I created world peace, but, oh man, I was late to the office today, so I suck. You know, , we do these horrible things to ourselves. This is true. This is true. I've always been like that, even as a teenager. . Sad. Sad. So in talking about manifesting your dream life, you said before that you were working a nine to five or, and you were doing your hobby on the side, but now, ma'am, yes.

Your hobby. The real job, . Yes, it is. I You become a new initiative. Talk to us. Tell us everyth. Yes. So, lemme see. I, I, I was working from home, so it was supposed to be my dream job. You know, I was working from home. I didn't have to actually touch a patient. It was beautiful and, but the hours sucked so much and it was little flexibility and I had.

He was third grader at the time and he was, there was so much to do and my husband worked long hours, so it was all on me to do the pickup due to everything, and I couldn't do it. I, I just fit, I really had gotten to the point where I was like, I dreaded it every day because I could not do everything.

And me being the high achiever, I thought I had to. So , I just can't do anything. And my husband was like, well just quit. You always said that you wanted to do the blogging full-time. And I was like, I can't do that. Husband real quick. Let's just, everybody coming up her husband right now, that a supportive man.

He, he mentioned it like, like most of my friends know, if you mention something to me and then gimme time to marinate on it. Eventually I'll come around. So like two months later I was like, so when you serious, when you said I can quit ? He was like, as long as the bills get paid, I don't care what you do, . I was like, oh, okay.

Okay. So I quit just flat out, gave them a week's notice and was like, I'm out. And it was a struggle the first year. , but by the second year I was on my way and, you know, we did not go to the poor house. . That's important. And then it, it. , it worked, and I think I'm, it worked because I wanted it to, because I had so much more flexibility and everybody, I was a happier person.

I could go to p t a meetings, I could pick him up at the drop of a hat if he was sick. You know, I could cook dinner and not feel exhausted at the end of the I, I could do things that I wanted to do, and so that was be. . , and then it evolved, I guess this was it, early, late last year. I, a friend of mine had given me the idea  she had randomly said, you should do a subscription box.

And I was like, girl, ain't nobody doing no subscription blocks, . And she was like, like, like I said, one of 'em friends who tell you stuff and then walk away, that was her. And so then I, the idea came back to me in like November, December and I was like, ah, maybe next year I'll think about it. So I put it on my vision board.

I'm looking at it right now on my vision board, and I was like, okay, I might get it to go. And I worked on it the whole first quarter.  and then I was like, okay, I'm, I, I worked enough. I'm gonna put it out there. See what happened. I'm, I just got 50 boxes.

That's all I'm gonna put out there. That's all I'm gonna do. We'll see who buy this thing. Ain't nobody go buy, but I'm gonna put it out there. And it sold out. Timeout. Yes.  Timeout because we are not giving very specific information. This box is called, it's called Pouring Over Books Box. , it is a coffee and book subscription box.

, features black-owned coffee businesses. , yes, yes. . Black people make coffee and they make excellent coffee. And there's so many roasters across the country that I think people, you need to drink more than Starbucks. Let's just put it like that. Nothing against the two of them. They're great. But  get you some black magic.

Um, yes. What drink? Black magic black man. But so that was, it was like my idea cuz I was like, I, because I always talked about books.  on my Instagram. I always talk about coffee. I mean, I pour coffee every day, so it seemed logical. Cause I'm like, these are, it's like a, it was like a passion project. You know how you have that one thing that you're like, I really like doing this.

Even if it doesn't make me any money, I'm still gonna do it because it's just my thing. Cool. This podcast. Yeah, welcome. So I'm like, you know, it's just something I like to do and I like putting it together. I like finding the things, you know, and I like shipping it out and seeing what people are thinking.

I was like, yeah, I'm gonna do this. And it it, like I said, it sold off. I was surprised. , and then the second time we almost sold out, there are like a few left floating around there that are not really, I, I closed it, they're not for sale, but,  because I had bitten off more than I could chew, and I realized that when it got to a certain number and I was like, oh, okay, let me, let me just cut this off.

That's that. That's sad. This is all I'm doing. , because Ooh, yeah, that's, I was like, this is all I'm doing, . And, , I was like, we can see I'm out. That's a really great problem to have. Everybody. Can we just, can we just like, she's doing it again. She's being a high achiever again. She was like, I sold too much

No, because you know it, and. , how can I put it? You know how you, you what they say? Your eyes are big. Your eyes are bigger than your stomach. It was the same thing I had in my head. Oh yeah, I need this number. And then when I got halfway to it, I was like, girl, you crazy. You don't know . That's mindfulness. Do you see how mindful she is y'all?

I was like, because you know, I remember packing those 50 boxes in my living room and the fact that. Doubling that and some kind of, kind of buck. Yeah. No, I don't have room for that. So I had to scale back until the next time when I figure out that situation. So, , it was, it's good though. It was a lethal faith, but I always feel like if you don't try, like my mother is, like, my mother's always like, only you would just.

Say randomly to me. She's like, one day you. She said, I'm always waiting for that call when you be like, oh yeah, so I decided to start a new business . She's like, because only you do stuff like that, . And I'm like, no, not really. I just have tons of ideas and eventually those ideas. I, I do them because you manifest.

They're on my, you're a ma. A major manifestor. They're on my vision board and I'm look, cause I'm looking at a few of 'em right now and I'm like, eh, I guess that'll be next. So, you know, it's just, all right. LaShaun votes for president. Next guys. Who's voting for ? No, not my lane at all. No. Oh my gosh. I, I don't have the, I don't, I don't have the temperament for that.

Mm-hmm. I hear you. I couldn't, I couldn't. , but I have seen lots of iterations of you from blogger while being like a nurse and then shift and you teach and you're speaking. You guys, you just need to follow her. And then you need to go be one of her 50 boxes for next quarter. Month, quarter? No, let me see.

The next boxes will go out in the fall. So that'll be the , September box that's going. That's my birthday month. I'm getting a box. Okay. I'll go on sale mid, mid-August. Yeah. Where can everybody find this? Tell all your links, everything. Let's see. The box is at porn over books box.com. No, it's porn books.com.

Sorry. The Instagram is porn over books.  and I am at LaShaun Wiltz and my blog is everyday eye candy.com. That's it. That that is. Those are my places, my home. Thank you . And if you can give one last little nugget for everybody at home, although you said a lot of really good quotes, I don't know how I'm gonna pick something for the video, but you said a lot of great.

My favorite one right now, my favorite thing is, No is a complete sentence. I don't, that is something I learned and just started putting into practice in the last few years. It's like you don't have to qualify  if you don't wanna do it. Don't do it. Friends, . You don't have to say why, because you know, you'll say no.

And then there'll be this silence from the other person waiting for you to say, why. I just let it go. Now I just sit there  sit, just stare back. Let that meme we're puffy. And that other guy Yes, that, that, that's me. Now, no is a complete sentence that is like a boundary because there's nothing worse than agreeing to doing something that you don't wanna do.

and then you do it and then everything goes wrong because you knew you weren't supposed to do it. . Mm. I love that your brain told you not to do it. The universe told you not to do it. God told you, whoever told your, your inner self said no, and it's nothing worse than you going ahead and saying yes.

That's not, that's not part of your destiny. That that is not part of your man. That is not what you're supposed to be. That's part of my journey right now. . No, exactly. That is not a part of the. Say no. No is a complete sentence. It is a complete sentence. I love that. Be yes bet on yourself. Mm. And that's it.

Yeah. That I love it. You have to, you have to bet on yourself if you're gonna create Yes. Your dream life without that hustle. Yes. Like what? What is the quote? Beyonce say, I'ma keep winning. Cause one, don't quit on herself that that's what you're supposed to do. Ooh. That, that's it. That's right.  That. Well, I, that's another one up here.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. , that's on the vision board too. Yeah. Uhhuh. I love it. . Well, thank you so much for your pearls of wisdom, you guys. I mean, we had it all from the vision board, the intentionality, waking up at the butt crack of dawn, I mean all the things  and LaShaun told you where to find her. So go check her out and I will see you guys in a week.

Love you. Bye