#54: Personal Healing Practices for Burnout with "Begin w/ Ashley"

Ashley McLemore is a coach, DEI+ advisor, and speaker based in Atlanta, Georgia. 

She founded the company BEGIN. and they’re on a mission to combat toxic company culture so that those historically excluded are liberated in life and work. Ashley has studied race and gender for over 10 years and holds a Master’s degree in Health Education. 

After experiencing burnout more than once, she dedicated herself to beginning a self-healing journey. She began by adding The Four Agreements book and gemstones healing to her practice of journaling and dance. This elevated her work-life harmony and overall her self-worth. Ashley has created a private coaching program to share these practices with professionals impacted by the damaging effects of bias and career burnout so that they can enjoy the life that they’ve worked so hard for. 

For those considering pivoting into a new career, firing your boss, or who are ready to stop the burnout, I’m happy to share the essential downloadable checklist. If this doesn’t sound like you but you're curious, download the checklist too. 

Website: https://www.beginwithashley.co/services 

Download: https://mailchi.mp/beginwithashley/exitstrategy 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/begin.withashley/

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Dani Faust is a hypnotherapist and certified Life Coach, Intuitive Energy Healer and Spiritual Teacher currently based in South Florida and holds certifications in EFT, Meditation, Reiki, NLP and more.

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Transcript

Hello, welcome to today's episode. This is an interview episode with Mabu Ashley McLemore from Begin. Ashley is a coach, d e i, advisor and speaker based in Atlanta, Georgia. . She founded , the Begin Company, and they're on a mission to combat toxic company culture so that those historically excluded are now liberated in life and work.

Ashley has studied race and gender for over 10 years and holds a master's degree in health education. After experiencing burnout more than once, she dedicated herself to beginning a self-healing journey. She's created a private coaching program to share her practices with professionals impacted by the damaging effects of bias and career burnout so they can enjoy the life that they have worked so hard for.

You're gonna love Ashley. I met her a few years back at an event and we were both kind of wiggling in our seats,  with excitement, and her energy is so infectious. She's a bright light, and I know you're gonna. , , her Instagram is Begin dot with Ashley and she has several links in the show notes, so go check those out.

Please note that we recorded this episode a while ago, so we share an old Instagram handle in the audio. Please don't use the one that we share in the audio , please use begin dot with Ashley and use the ones that are in the show notes, okay? Okay. No more long talking in. I love you.

Here's Ashley. Bye.
Oh my goodness. Girls, thank you so much for tuning into Manifested sis. How dope was that bio? I'm so excited to have Ashley McLemore of Begin Collection here. Hi Ashley. Hey Danny . How are you today? I am fantastic. I am full of so much energy right now. I love it. It's 9:00 PM . Don't tell our business.

Nobody needs to know when this is recorded. . Look, I met Ashley at one of my coaches live event. My coach April. We sat next to each other and it was love at first sight. She fixed my bracelet. I mean, I just couldn't get enough of this chick. You guys are going to dig her. And of course, I have to start with the first question that I ask everybody.

Ashley, what does manifesting mean to you? Manifesting means to me, believing in what you are able to receive and getting it. Oh, what have you manifested lately? She's dancing y'all. I wish this was recording the video cuz she's doing a little shoulder shimmy right now. . Oh, that's what I do. That's what I do.

I manifested you in this actually. Oh. Oh, I'm a manifestation. That's right, that's right at the event she said she was going to manifest some podcast interviews and boom. Look at you now. Magic. Fantastic . Yeah. So in your illustrious bio you said a few things and I'm really excited to talk about your business because I love the way Begin Collection weaves crystals and their beautiful, powerful energy with personal development.

But what I wanna start with is this whole thing you've got going on around burnout. I have never heard of a burnout recovery specialist like you. I wanna know where did this come up for you? How did this become your calling? Absolutely. So it actually started off right after college. I graduated. Super excited and eager to get into the job force and landed my first job and.

I did everything that I could do. I sometimes went in and first thing in the morning leaving last one out, and it got to a point where I was just running on autopilot and one day I felt a stinging burning sensation under my left breast and I thought I got stung by a mosquito. To give you a little context of what that singing felt like.

And I went into urgent care the next day and sat on the table and the doctor said, are you under any stress? And I thought, Yeah, and I just started crying. Oh, that was my first experience of burnout at 23, 23, 23, 23. And the doctor came back into the room after I finished crying all the ugly tears and said, oh, you have shingles y'all, and let's just record scratch right there.

How you 23 getting Shing. What? Okay. Fuck. I'm about to break it down. I also have a master's in health education. I didn't at the time, but I do now.  come with it, sis. So what happens is that your body, when it has so much stress, it breaks down your immune system. Mm-hmm. . And so not only was my immune system shocked from stress, I was working 12, 14, 16 hour days, not eating, what was I doing?

Running off of Starbucks coffee. And so I hadn't, I feel triggered. Hold on.  puts down coffee cup. Sorry. Keep going. . So I had no actual nutrients in my body in addition to stress. So I had literally stress in my body and nothing else. And so my immune system was shot. I don't know, one of the older people came into my, I worked in retail, came into my store and probably had shingles.

And so weakened immune system, virus comes right in. Yeah. . That was it. That's all it took. So you got shingles, you, it slowed your ass down. Mm-hmm.  good. Mm-hmm. . Did you return back to the work with that same, like, run yourself ragged mentality, or did you slow down? Yeah, so that's, that's the. The beautiful part of life, right?

I was immediately like, oh, I have to change. I have to do something. And so I, I started to shift my schedule, and then I was like, I need to quit this job. I actually don't like it. Oh, I actually don't like this job, so I'm gonna quit. And so I did and moved to a totally different city and did different things.

And burnout came back. What? You didn't learn your lesson. Okay. Tell us. Round two. Uhhuh. . I didn't learn my lesson. It really honestly took me about eight years to get it right. Oh wow. And the reason why it took so long is because I wasn't, I was looking for external fixes, things outside of. Right. So when you talk about manifesting you, it's, it's internal, it's in your body, right?

And so I was looking, I went self-help books, I did therapy, I did dance. I did all of these things which were great books, coping mechanisms and great healthy things to do, but exactly, which were great and. , I didn't do the internal work. Mm-hmm.  to figure out why was I killing myself? Why was I trying to prove myself?

Who was I proving myself to for and why? Hold on, there's a nugget there. Mm-hmm. , y'all. If you find yourself reading all these self-help books. Mm. And nothing's changing. If you find yourself working with a coach and life is still stagnant. If you find yourself in therapy and nothing is changing SISs, it's not the coach, the book or the therapist, it's you.

You have to do the work every, you are responsible for your.  period with love. All right, keep going. Yes. So then , that is the nugget. And that is, is what took, it took me eight years to really get there. Hmm. To really get there and, and, and be honest with what I was doing, why I was pushing myself so hard.

And it was because I didn't have the self. In, in myself, I didn't have the full knowing of my abilities and capabilities and just denying that I was able to be a human and be appreciated, accepted, valued, without putting myself, pushing myself beyond the limit. . I love that. I love, okay, first of all, a few things.

One, kudos to you for coming to the realization because you say eight years, like it took a long time, but sis, there are 47 year olds who still ain't figured that shit out and so yay. Also I feel like it's kind of pushed on us. That whole rhetoric of you gotta be twice as good to go, half as far. So it kind of, for a certain mindset, it kind of pushes you.

Force yourself into that role of gotta do, gotta do, you know, overextend yourself, say yes to everything. Push, push, push. Struggle, struggle, hustle, hustle. Yeah, absolutely. And I, I figured out I had to do my internal work and say, when did I hear this message? Whose belief have I been operating with? Say it.

Oh, my mom's and my grandma. My grandma is 80. What she had to do, I don't have to do. Amen. Say it again. Don't. My grandmother is 80. What she had to do, I don't have to do. Yes. And once I was able to realize, oh, it's me. Let me look in there, I looked in there and I was honest. Oh, okay. I know what's, I can figure this out.

I know how to release this belief that it is no longer mine. It does not serve me. What tools did you use to, to do that? Because we're saying it like it's an easy process and it can be hoo, it can be harrowing. So what tools did you use for this process? Yeah, so definitely I, I, I started with the Four Agreements book.

Oh, my book. I started there and it took me a year to read it the first. Ooh, you were putting up that barrier. Your system was like, no, we don't wanna change . We wanna stay here. It took me a whole year. Wow. And  I journaled as things came up for me and really took time to reflect and really I was coaching myself, frankly, I like it. And I say raw honesty. , and what I really mean by that is if you have a thing with your mom, if you have a thing with your current partner and you've just kind of pacified it or justified it or made excuses for it, I was honest when I wanted to say, I hate this person, or this is what I feel about X, Y, and Z.

I was honest about that with myself in my journal. Come through Throat chakra. Okay, listen, it was open, it was activated and ready. And so I, I did a lot of that probably the first year. That was the, the biggest thing for me was really getting in tune with my own honesty and no longer lying, or it's like I was lying to myself to people, please.

Mm-hmm. . That, like, I'm not even pleasing the the person I'm, I'm pleasing them in my mind. Ain't that a trip? Ain't that a trip? The things that we do, the mental gymnastics, emotional gymnastics that we put ourselves through contortion  inside of our heads, and for what? It doesn't bring us happiness. It brings us the illusion of being all right for right now.

What's the point? You know, and so many of us, it, it takes, often it takes a real slap in the face, like shingles, , or a death of a loved one, or an illness or a job loss or something to kind of slap the sense into you. And it doesn't have to because you have people like Ashley who could support you,  along the way.

So tell me how you're working with people now to avoid burnout, or, first of all, how does someone know that they're approaching burnout? Absolutely. That is a fantastic question. And so with the most amount of awareness that the person could have typ, one good way to note is that you are avoiding the things that used to bring you joy.

So I'm a dancer. You mentioned, you mentioned the shoulder movement earlier. I dance all the time. I realized it had been two years since I danced. O. . And so it took me a minute to figure it out, right? And sometimes it, it might take that because I wasn't as aware of my body and the things that I had learned to do to cope with stress.

And so, oh, I'm so exhausted, so I just need to sleep. So I just slept. Instead of going out and dancing or instead of taking that dance class that would have rejuvenated you and given you that energy you were seeking. Okay. Oh man. Exactly. That movement was necessary, but I felt so exhausted, and also I realized that exhaustion was more mental.

Then it was my body physically exhausted. So that's, that's one thing. It's like, what have you stopped doing that used to bring you so much joy? Yeah, that's a good, so guys, if you're noticing, if you're thinking like, man, I really do love painting, but you haven't picked up a brush in however long sis, you better go do something

Go do something. Return to those things that bring you joy, that light you up, that make you happy. And if you're in a space that's so dark right now that you can't even remember, then I wanna first give you love. Know that we are here for you and my dms are always open at the Danny Foust, but also I want you to remember that you can take a little time.

To just look back at old pictures and remind yourself or journal and try to just go back in your memory. What were those things I liked to do as a kid? What were those things that made me laugh? What were those movies I liked? And think about those things so you can have a little go-to of things that brought you joy.

Okay, next tip. Go. On that note, another thing that I highly recommend is nostalgia. So any nostalgic music, whatever peppy pop song, hype song you used to listen to, you went skating to, you went, I don't know, there was this kid Party me db. One more time. Exactly. Hashtag Courtney, put that on. Not only, you know all the words.

So you literally give yourself a mental win because you're like, Ooh, I'm good at this cause I know all these words. True facts. Then you're singing them throat chakra open, activated. That's good. And if you're me, you're also dancing and there's, you're gonna move, you're gonna buff, right? Yes. There's movement.

So that is energy. You need that. So if you are in a space where it's, it's cloudy and dark a highly encourage a positive or high tempo, not like the emo songs that you used to listen to on repeat  more of the uptempo songs to, to shift that energy a bit. I love that. I love it cuz music gets me through everything.

I can't stand , I just put on my Soka channel and it's like, all right, I can, I can clean the bathroom now. So  now that I got this one. Cause you can't, you have to move the, so you have to move the So, yes. Okay. So what other tips do you have? So if you're approaching burnout, what tips, or if you know that you've got something going on and you're like, this, I can't stand this normal.

What do I.  besides the nostalgia, what do I do? Yeah. So another thing that I encourage my clients, my friends, is to get clear about what it is you actually want. So what I mean by that is sometimes people are exhausted or stressed out or feeling work pressure because they haven't got that promotion right, for example.

And so, okay, you haven't got that promotion that. Not great. Understood. Acknowledge it, check. And then what do you actually want? Like let's get imaginative, let's visualize, visualize. What do you actually want? 

So maybe you're experiencing a moment where you are, you've been working really hard trying to get this promotion and you've kind of exhausted yourself. Maybe you feel overwhelmed and you've held on to this idea of getting the promotion. One tip that I provide to my clients and my friends is to actually think about, take a moment again, internal work and ask yourself, what do you actually, what do I actually.

Get visual and imaginative with it. I find that oftentimes it's not actually the promotion, maybe it's recognition, maybe it is an affirmation of your work or that project that you just finished. So that's a conversation with your supervisor. , that's not the promotion. It could be, but it's not the promotion.

Once you get clear about what your actual vision is what you actually truly desire, there is so much more space than adding, putting it on this one thing, this one target, like a promotion. I love that. I love that. In the Ask Believe, receive course, I offer, we call it the core desire. Mm-hmm. , because we, it might look like, oh, I wanna lose 20 pounds.

But really what you want is energy to play with your children. How can, how else can we get that? Do we need to lose 20 pounds in order to play with the kids? No. So we really have to get silent still and. . And you're right, is that inner work? Because some people might look external like, well, they didn't gimme the promotion.

Let me go to find a new job and then be miserable at the new job. And it's like, bro, all you wanted was a pat on the back. Like . You just wanted the recognition you could have gotten that. That's exactly it. I'm actually running courses group courses  similarly, on that same note I always encourage people to come and speak with me before they quit their job because oftentimes, It's not the job y'all.

Sometimes it's not the job. Sometimes it's you . And also if it is the job, let's get clear about what you actually want for your next job before you leave. So is is it a title change issue? Is it money? I know we sometimes think.  and  oftentimes you want more free time, you want more flexibility in your schedule.

Maybe you wanna be remote, so let's get clear about that before we quit the job. . I love this. If you guys are in this space where you're just like, I'm feeling overwhelmed. These people don't respect me, I'm outta here. Don't quit sis. Call Ashley first. She does one-on-one coaching. . She'll talk you off the ledge and help you craft the conversation you need to have with whoever it is that you need to have it with.

Cuz it might not be your boss, it might be your spouse who needs to just pick up more slack around the house so you don't have to feel like you have a full-time job at work and then at home again. Talk to Ashley. She'll hook y'all up. Exactly. So let's talk about this. Let's talk about the Begin collection because I think it's really interesting how you mix in your coaching one-on-one with your clients, along with Crystal Healing.

I am a crystal therapist myself, Ang. So I want to hear first of all, what's your favorite Crystal is and how you use them to support your. Yes. So my favorite crystal is lapis lazuli, throat chakra bitch. Yes. There's a theme here if you haven't picked up on it. I'm all about activating and opening the throat chakra.

And so I really, I used to work in the fashion industry and. Started to see how people were using beads and how to string them, and I thought that was cool. And the bead, the bracelet part of it actually came because I couldn't find bracelets that fit my wrist. I have a very petite wrist, and so I thought, oh, I can just make this myself.

And so I just did it as a hobby for a long time actually. And now the way that I incorporate it with my coaching is to. I asked the person like, what are you working on? What's your, like, eight to 12 weeks we're done. What do you want to have into your life? What do you, what do you wanna bring in?

What's your intention? What do you wanna manifest? Oh, , yes. This. And so taking in those conversations that I have with them at the beginning the first few sessions, and then creating a custom bracelet for that manifestation, that desire, that journey, I love that. So you imbue it with that energy of what they're calling in.

That's beautiful. . Yeah. And then you have a daily reminder to wear on your wrist. I love this. I love that you said daily too. I wanna know what your daily practices are. So after your eight years and, and you finally clicked and you're like, Uhuh, we ain't going back to that life. No mo after that. I'm sure you have daily things that you put in place in your life that keep you on.

I was gonna say the straight and narrow, but you know, keep you on this good path. , the shingle free lifestyle. So , so tell us about some of your day-to-day practices. Yes, day-to-day I made a promise to myself that I would dance every day. And so I do. I love it. At least for one song. And so some days I'm just listening to music and sitting at my computer and I realize, oh, I haven't danced.

So I will literally stop what I'm doing and get up for at least the length of one song. But usually it's longer than that. So that has been one amazing practice. Another one that has just shifted the way I wake up is by saying thank you three times before my feet hit the. . So before I get out of the bed, I say thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm not saying it to anybody or anything specifically, it's just showing and expressing gratitude and that has shifted the what's on my to-do list thoughts from storming in first thing in the morning. Just thank. I love that. So, okay. The dance practice I'm obsessed with because right now I am just all about movement for energy healing and moving your body. We have a dance party every Friday or Saturday night in our house, . We got the glow sticks because my husband was a raver. We got the kids going crazy. I love it and I love that it, it's a great way to move energy. I'm really all about psychosomatic work right now for healing.

Winding up your hips and dancing to a little something is healing energy needs to move. And if you're in your personal development journey, know that getting up and stretching even is, it is valuable work to do and saying thank you. Right When you wake up, I bang on about gratitude. So I love that. Before you even do anything else, you're like delaying the day because you're like, uhuh.

Nope, no to-do list. No picking up my phone. Don't bother me with nothing. I gotta say thank you to who? It doesn't matter. My spiritual connection. Just thank you, . I love that. I love that. Do you have any evening practices that you do before bed? Camo, milk tea every night. Every single night. It just, it winds me down.

I, I also drink tea all day, every. So I'm, I'm a big tea lover and camo milk tea is just, it's warming. It calms me and allows me to wind down. Oh, that's the other thing. I have a wind down alarm. So at 9:00 PM every evening my alarm goes off and it says, wind down, you're late. I am late. It's fine. . I love that though.

I set reminders in my phone for different things as well. So I love that you're doing that. You're really intentional about your life of wellness and that is how it has to be, otherwise it won't get done. So I love that. It's true. She's laughing at me. But it's true y'all. So if you guys are in a place where you're kind of starting the goals and stopping starting the goals and it's just not sticking, set these alarms in your phone.

Treat it like a a business meeting or an interview. Don't miss your meditation meeting or whatever it is that you are doing for yourself. Okay,

oh my gosh. Ashley, you have been a breath of fresh air. You have been a little shimmy shake in our lives today. . You have been a watusi. Wait, is that a dance ? I don't even know. I think it's a dance like from 1905 . Anyway, you have been a bright spot for us today. Is there any last words of wisdom you wanna leave?

Are manifesting divas? Absolutely. Thank you so much. I would like to leave all of the listeners with you. Can't fuck this up. Ooh, you can't believe it in your spirit. I love it. If you are breathing, you're on the right track. That's it. . I love it. I love it. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Tell everybody where they can find you, where they can contact you for coaching.

Look, if you like her vibe, go get coaching with her. Or if you don't like her vibe, come get coaching from me. , tell everybody where they can find you. Absolutely I am begin underscore collection on Instagram. I will share my coaching page and also begin collection.com as well for any of the gemstone goodies.

Fantastic. And

if you're driving and you can't write that down, don't worry. It is in the show notes for you, as are some links to my favorite items in her store. So go check out. Ashley, thank you so much for spending time with us today. We appreciate all your words of wisdom, and for everybody listening, I wanna know what stood out for you.

Tag me at the Danny Fous tag, begin underscore collection and let us know like what really resonated, what hit you hard, what snatched your edges, or made you go, oh yeah, that's right. All right. I really wanna know and thank you so much for listening, and I will see you next week. Love you. Bye.